When writing, I personally feel that, the lack of emotions makes the whole act tougher, rather than the lack of material. And content. Of course when you have nothing to write about, you aren't going to get anywhere. But with regards to subjects and topics and content-based stuff, you can always source for them elsewhere or even borrow them from someone else if need be. However, it is very difficult to 'borrow' or so-call 'copy' the emotions in someone else's writing. Perhaps that is why one piece of material written by various persons would result in a whole range of products. For one who truly did experience what he or she is writing about themselves, would definitely be able to relate a more genuine and truthful story, thus making the piece way more personal as compared to another, who is merely borrowing content. I use to borrow other people's encounters and experiences a lot in the past – more than borrow, i use to steal, to rob. I mean, you don't exactly return what you 'borrow' in this kind of scenarios right? Besides that, I use to take more than their content. Their writing style. Their expression. It did work, in the sense that, of course every thing sounds very artsy and fancy and well-composed. But I found, no it didn't seem right. Worse being, there was a period of time (i realise when going through my archives), that i imitated writing that wasn't actually good; it was crap! So yes, long story short, i dont know... i dont even know where i was going with this 'story'. It is easy to go on and on and on about a topic like this, but I shan't. This wasn't the topic I had in mind to write about, I had something else. But I forgot. Oh well.

But like I said at the start, the lack of emotions makes it hard to write. Hard to express. More often than not, I love writing. Just because I find it so beautiful that words – simple meaningless characters – can be pieced so effortlessly together to convey emotions, thoughts, perspectives, ideals, and so much more. Thus I feel it is just so magical. I think art alone, or anything that holds artistic value, is magical. Literature, music, visuals, theatre, even cooking. It is all so magical. Yet so elusive at the same time. But back to the point about writing; sometimes I do detest the fact that it is one of the only means I have to express myself. I am not particularly talented in any other aspects, as such, the use of words is generally the only method I have. Although it is a fantastic avenue, platform and tool, once in a while I do encounter those annoying times where words fail to spell out what I exactly want it to spell out. To be fair, its not the words to blame. They are 'dead' anyway. Sometimes I am UNABLE to put what what I want to truly say in words. And other times, I myself do not know what I want to say. As such I do find it all very complicated. I am trying to teach myself to see the beauty in that complication though. Slowly. But surely.

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I wonder what is it like to be suffering from schizophrenia. Maybe not suffering, but having that condition and having to live with it. I do not know much about schizophrenia. But I do wonder how it is like as a schizophrenic. In a world where all is constantly deluded and confused and muddled, perhaps we all have a tinge of schizophrenia? I do not know. I do not understand. But neither do I know if I want to go and understand it. Let it be.

Who is that girl I see,
staring straight
back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

I love this woman, she is amazing! :) This video makes me smile

When writing, I personally feel that, the lack of emotions makes the whole act tougher, rather than the lack of material. And content. Of course when you have nothing to write about, you aren't going to get anywhere. But with regards to subjects and topics and content-based stuff, you can always source for them elsewhere or even borrow them from someone else if need be. However, it is very difficult to 'borrow' or so-call 'copy' the emotions in someone else's writing. Perhaps that is why one piece of material written by various persons would result in a whole range of products. For one who truly did experience what he or she is writing about themselves, would definitely be able to relate a more genuine and truthful story, thus making the piece way more personal as compared to another, who is merely borrowing content. I use to borrow other people's encounters and experiences a lot in the past – more than borrow, i use to steal, to rob. I mean, you don't exactly return what you 'borrow' in this kind of scenarios right? Besides that, I use to take more than their content. Their writing style. Their expression. It did work, in the sense that, of course every thing sounds very artsy and fancy and well-composed. But I found, no it didn't seem right. Worse being, there was a period of time (i realise when going through my archives), that i imitated writing that wasn't actually good; it was crap! So yes, long story short, i dont know... i dont even know where i was going with this 'story'. It is easy to go on and on and on about a topic like this, but I shan't. This wasn't the topic I had in mind to write about, I had something else. But I forgot. Oh well.

But like I said at the start, the lack of emotions makes it hard to write. Hard to express. More often than not, I love writing. Just because I find it so beautiful that words – simple meaningless characters – can be pieced so effortlessly together to convey emotions, thoughts, perspectives, ideals, and so much more. Thus I feel it is just so magical. I think art alone, or anything that holds artistic value, is magical. Literature, music, visuals, theatre, even cooking. It is all so magical. Yet so elusive at the same time. But back to the point about writing; sometimes I do detest the fact that it is one of the only means I have to express myself. I am not particularly talented in any other aspects, as such, the use of words is generally the only method I have. Although it is a fantastic avenue, platform and tool, once in a while I do encounter those annoying times where words fail to spell out what I exactly want it to spell out. To be fair, its not the words to blame. They are 'dead' anyway. Sometimes I am UNABLE to put what what I want to truly say in words. And other times, I myself do not know what I want to say. As such I do find it all very complicated. I am trying to teach myself to see the beauty in that complication though. Slowly. But surely.

--------------------------

I wonder what is it like to be suffering from schizophrenia. Maybe not suffering, but having that condition and having to live with it. I do not know much about schizophrenia. But I do wonder how it is like as a schizophrenic. In a world where all is constantly deluded and confused and muddled, perhaps we all have a tinge of schizophrenia? I do not know. I do not understand. But neither do I know if I want to go and understand it. Let it be.

Who is that girl I see,
staring straight
back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

I love this woman, she is amazing! :) This video makes me smile