Backdated post: written around 28/9 or so.

Start of vague recount: I remember when I was primary 3. There was a day where we got back a Chinese test. Those were the days where scoring full marls was no sweat off your brow. I remember feeling slightly dejected having bagged only a 45/50 amongst the countless perfect scores around me. How incredulous now to think of it! I remember the teacher asked to see me after class. Apparently what happened was, there was a question where my solution differed from the one she said when going through the paper. So technically my answer was 'wrong', hence eliciting the idea that I did not declare my incorrect answer in fear that I will lose more marks. Just to clarify, honestly at the age of 9, that was totally not my intent. I was just stoning, and had ignored her explanations for questions that I was marked right. I remember the teacher eventually told me that question had multiple solutions, and I was indeed right afterall. But what she said to me afterwards, somehow stuck with me till this day.

She said, peiwen you are bright, you should know results aren't everything. I know you want to excel, everyone wants to. But there is no need to exceedingly compete at all costs to win. There is more to life than this. And I know you have the makes in you to do more, to lead. I believe you can even make it to being the head prefect one day. 

Well that is generally a retold version of her intents. No, I never got on to being any great leader, much less the head prefect. But the gist of her words has lingered at the back of my mind all these years. It is probably the only time in my life anyone has ever truly shown me and said to my face that results and grades in particular are not everything. That the passion to learn and the actual act of learning is instead more crucial. It was also one of times where I felt, someone actually believed in me and saw my potential. Though I never received enough motivations to fulfil the faiths she had it me, it did instil a sense of hope, so to speak. Very rarely is something able to make me feel i am destined for greatness. When I was young, I did believe so. I dreamt the world was mine to take and that anything is possible. And what happened. My ardent embrace of the axiom impossible is nothing slowly began to water down by the thoughts that not everyone can win when there is only one 'first place'. 

Passion for learning. One thing I have discovered I have grown to love is the Chinese language. Since young, I always found it exceedingly tough to grasp Chinese. I loathed it, just because I could not perfect it. Not that I am nearing perfection in the language in any sense, but I am beginning to enjoy learning it. I suspect it was preparing for Chinese o level Oral's that sparked my interest. I am very fortunate to get a very supportive Chinese teacher this year. The process of prepping for that exam felt more of exploring the grounds of mandarin, rather than pure memorizing. I guess the consumption of copious amounts of Chinese text kind of helped.

Backdated post: written around 28/9 or so.

Start of vague recount: I remember when I was primary 3. There was a day where we got back a Chinese test. Those were the days where scoring full marls was no sweat off your brow. I remember feeling slightly dejected having bagged only a 45/50 amongst the countless perfect scores around me. How incredulous now to think of it! I remember the teacher asked to see me after class. Apparently what happened was, there was a question where my solution differed from the one she said when going through the paper. So technically my answer was 'wrong', hence eliciting the idea that I did not declare my incorrect answer in fear that I will lose more marks. Just to clarify, honestly at the age of 9, that was totally not my intent. I was just stoning, and had ignored her explanations for questions that I was marked right. I remember the teacher eventually told me that question had multiple solutions, and I was indeed right afterall. But what she said to me afterwards, somehow stuck with me till this day.

She said, peiwen you are bright, you should know results aren't everything. I know you want to excel, everyone wants to. But there is no need to exceedingly compete at all costs to win. There is more to life than this. And I know you have the makes in you to do more, to lead. I believe you can even make it to being the head prefect one day. 

Well that is generally a retold version of her intents. No, I never got on to being any great leader, much less the head prefect. But the gist of her words has lingered at the back of my mind all these years. It is probably the only time in my life anyone has ever truly shown me and said to my face that results and grades in particular are not everything. That the passion to learn and the actual act of learning is instead more crucial. It was also one of times where I felt, someone actually believed in me and saw my potential. Though I never received enough motivations to fulfil the faiths she had it me, it did instil a sense of hope, so to speak. Very rarely is something able to make me feel i am destined for greatness. When I was young, I did believe so. I dreamt the world was mine to take and that anything is possible. And what happened. My ardent embrace of the axiom impossible is nothing slowly began to water down by the thoughts that not everyone can win when there is only one 'first place'. 

Passion for learning. One thing I have discovered I have grown to love is the Chinese language. Since young, I always found it exceedingly tough to grasp Chinese. I loathed it, just because I could not perfect it. Not that I am nearing perfection in the language in any sense, but I am beginning to enjoy learning it. I suspect it was preparing for Chinese o level Oral's that sparked my interest. I am very fortunate to get a very supportive Chinese teacher this year. The process of prepping for that exam felt more of exploring the grounds of mandarin, rather than pure memorizing. I guess the consumption of copious amounts of Chinese text kind of helped.