Where do I begin?

First of, I am finally free! Free but not free. It is almost as one bolt unlocks itself, another tightens. I know I will never truly be free. Trapped in a cage in a cage in a cage. Free from one but still confined in another. Whatever it is, I am slightly comforted I lived through the past 2 months or so. It has definitely been a very stressful period of time, physically, mentally and emotionally very strenuous and taxing. True enough, I do feel to some extent I am a stronger person, and more ready to face the intensity of next year, as compared to how I was months ago.

Then comes the next question. Did all the hard work pay off? In a way yes, I mean there is no doubt tremendous improvement in all my grades, although I still have a couple of C grades. But this round of assessments has indeed proven to me that, those who work reap the results they deserve. No pain no gain, they say. And yes, those who fight the hardest, slog their guts out, will truly get what they deserve in the end. The good triumph and the bad fall. Survival of the fittest once again. It is intense, it is so real. Personally, I believe that every grade and every result I received in this exam has been my very own deserving – be it good or bad, only I am unanswerably for it.

I guess I am beginning to learn to be responsible for my own academic performance and track record. It is true that at the end of the day, I am studying for myself, not for my parents or teachers or the school. Of course I would not want to grow up and harbour deep regrets for not trying hard enough now. Well, I am already regretting mildly for not putting more effort in for the first three terms this year! What is past has past, so yes, I am learning to stop moping over split milk.

To be fair, I am quite proud of myself for majority of my subjects.

Take geography, this is my star example. I am SUPER SUPER proud of myself for geography I must say. I got top in class! 86%! For once I am able to bask in the light of approval, at the cusp of that all-conquering sense of greatness. For once I felt invincible. But to be fair, I worked my ass off for geography. I memorised my content so religiously it was second nature. The tears and the sweat I shed for that grade, that A1, that pride. It is mine to take and to keep. And I am glad I have that grade to reassure myself of the hard work I put in and to justify my efforts. Of course I am very thankful for chua poh leng too; it was really her who inspired me to work hard, taught me to be responsible, to always try my best, to surpass expectations, to be the best I can be – it was her who had faith in me. Well, I hope she is proud of me. Somehow, it felt the world to me being told she is very pleased and impressed with me and to know I finally did achieve what she expected from me from the very start. It is really so rarely I get that anyway, sadly.

Another worthy to bring up will be physics I feel. Not that my grade was one which is extremely outstanding, but I am truly very very thankful to have passed by a fair margin. Physics has never been an easy subject for me, and in fact it has all the while been quite a burden. I am glad I did not give up on it entirely. At least all the extra practices and all the extra lessons and remedials paid off. At the end of the day, I feel eternally grateful to mrs yeo. She put in so much time and effort to groom us to shine; I know, it is not easy to produce a diamond out of coal overnight. But she is undeniably a very very dedicated teacher, and I am so gratified towards her. I hope I did not let her down or disappointed her too much. Next year will be an even tougher fight for physics!

And of course there is both my Maths subjects. I am really happy to have achieved both As! I was a little upset to have missed A1 by a mere 2 marks for amaths due to carelessness, but once again, what is past is past – TOO LATE. Nonetheless, I am also very thankful to mistel tee who was so patient and so tolerant, always giving remedials and helping me so willingly. It is comforting and encouraging to have such dedicated teachers. And also there is ms tan from novel, who helped me a lot too!

For emaths, I AM SUPER PLEASE WITH MY A1!!!! Actually, I do not know how I did it! I know a big part of it was definitely from the help I received from Mrs Alice Long a day before paper 1. She is amazing, absolutely amazing! She taught really fast but effective eradicated all my queries and straightened all my doubts. Indeed that helped greatly to instil confidence in me one day before the paper. What more, everything she taught me that day helped loads during the paper, there were so many questions which I knew how to do having just learnt it one day before through the tutorial with her! It is so rare to encounter a teacher whom you can work so well with upon first meeting; it is definitely something not too common for myself. Additionally, I cannot discount the help I received from ms tan too. She guided me quite a fair bit too, and placed her faith in me. To me, somehow I feel it is always nice to know someone believes in you, believes that you have the makes to do it, to achieve what is laid for you.

One thing that did not make me happy at all – Literature. I was extremely upset about lit. Actually right after the paper I knew I was doomed already. It was not that I had not prepared for it, I did! I forced myself to cram quotes and I reviewed all the lecture notes and reread the book. But when the paper came, it just did not work out. What a disappointment. I guess all there is to do now will be just having to work doubly hard to save this subject. If I am not going to do the work, I don't know who will do it for me.

Now that this wave of papers are over and done with forever, I do not know to heave a sigh of relief or not. It is the end, but not the end. This is merely the beginning. If this was hell, next year will be the pits of it. I do not know if I am prepared or if I am up for it even. But when the time comes, I will just have to be. I have one shot, it has to be a bulls-eye.

When you want to succeed, as bad as you want to breath, then you will be successful.

Where do I begin?

First of, I am finally free! Free but not free. It is almost as one bolt unlocks itself, another tightens. I know I will never truly be free. Trapped in a cage in a cage in a cage. Free from one but still confined in another. Whatever it is, I am slightly comforted I lived through the past 2 months or so. It has definitely been a very stressful period of time, physically, mentally and emotionally very strenuous and taxing. True enough, I do feel to some extent I am a stronger person, and more ready to face the intensity of next year, as compared to how I was months ago.

Then comes the next question. Did all the hard work pay off? In a way yes, I mean there is no doubt tremendous improvement in all my grades, although I still have a couple of C grades. But this round of assessments has indeed proven to me that, those who work reap the results they deserve. No pain no gain, they say. And yes, those who fight the hardest, slog their guts out, will truly get what they deserve in the end. The good triumph and the bad fall. Survival of the fittest once again. It is intense, it is so real. Personally, I believe that every grade and every result I received in this exam has been my very own deserving – be it good or bad, only I am unanswerably for it.

I guess I am beginning to learn to be responsible for my own academic performance and track record. It is true that at the end of the day, I am studying for myself, not for my parents or teachers or the school. Of course I would not want to grow up and harbour deep regrets for not trying hard enough now. Well, I am already regretting mildly for not putting more effort in for the first three terms this year! What is past has past, so yes, I am learning to stop moping over split milk.

To be fair, I am quite proud of myself for majority of my subjects.

Take geography, this is my star example. I am SUPER SUPER proud of myself for geography I must say. I got top in class! 86%! For once I am able to bask in the light of approval, at the cusp of that all-conquering sense of greatness. For once I felt invincible. But to be fair, I worked my ass off for geography. I memorised my content so religiously it was second nature. The tears and the sweat I shed for that grade, that A1, that pride. It is mine to take and to keep. And I am glad I have that grade to reassure myself of the hard work I put in and to justify my efforts. Of course I am very thankful for chua poh leng too; it was really her who inspired me to work hard, taught me to be responsible, to always try my best, to surpass expectations, to be the best I can be – it was her who had faith in me. Well, I hope she is proud of me. Somehow, it felt the world to me being told she is very pleased and impressed with me and to know I finally did achieve what she expected from me from the very start. It is really so rarely I get that anyway, sadly.

Another worthy to bring up will be physics I feel. Not that my grade was one which is extremely outstanding, but I am truly very very thankful to have passed by a fair margin. Physics has never been an easy subject for me, and in fact it has all the while been quite a burden. I am glad I did not give up on it entirely. At least all the extra practices and all the extra lessons and remedials paid off. At the end of the day, I feel eternally grateful to mrs yeo. She put in so much time and effort to groom us to shine; I know, it is not easy to produce a diamond out of coal overnight. But she is undeniably a very very dedicated teacher, and I am so gratified towards her. I hope I did not let her down or disappointed her too much. Next year will be an even tougher fight for physics!

And of course there is both my Maths subjects. I am really happy to have achieved both As! I was a little upset to have missed A1 by a mere 2 marks for amaths due to carelessness, but once again, what is past is past – TOO LATE. Nonetheless, I am also very thankful to mistel tee who was so patient and so tolerant, always giving remedials and helping me so willingly. It is comforting and encouraging to have such dedicated teachers. And also there is ms tan from novel, who helped me a lot too!

For emaths, I AM SUPER PLEASE WITH MY A1!!!! Actually, I do not know how I did it! I know a big part of it was definitely from the help I received from Mrs Alice Long a day before paper 1. She is amazing, absolutely amazing! She taught really fast but effective eradicated all my queries and straightened all my doubts. Indeed that helped greatly to instil confidence in me one day before the paper. What more, everything she taught me that day helped loads during the paper, there were so many questions which I knew how to do having just learnt it one day before through the tutorial with her! It is so rare to encounter a teacher whom you can work so well with upon first meeting; it is definitely something not too common for myself. Additionally, I cannot discount the help I received from ms tan too. She guided me quite a fair bit too, and placed her faith in me. To me, somehow I feel it is always nice to know someone believes in you, believes that you have the makes to do it, to achieve what is laid for you.

One thing that did not make me happy at all – Literature. I was extremely upset about lit. Actually right after the paper I knew I was doomed already. It was not that I had not prepared for it, I did! I forced myself to cram quotes and I reviewed all the lecture notes and reread the book. But when the paper came, it just did not work out. What a disappointment. I guess all there is to do now will be just having to work doubly hard to save this subject. If I am not going to do the work, I don't know who will do it for me.

Now that this wave of papers are over and done with forever, I do not know to heave a sigh of relief or not. It is the end, but not the end. This is merely the beginning. If this was hell, next year will be the pits of it. I do not know if I am prepared or if I am up for it even. But when the time comes, I will just have to be. I have one shot, it has to be a bulls-eye.

When you want to succeed, as bad as you want to breath, then you will be successful.