As much as I love to write, I am often put off by not knowing what to write about, and not knowing how to begin. Perhaps it could be the lack of inspiration as some choose to call it, but sometimes it almost seems as though I am suffering from an eternal writer's block. I guess I am just not the sort that likes to write about every day life and happenings I witness and all. In the past, I use to enjoy keeping track of everything I did, every moment, every sight, every sound, every emotion. Until now, I am still that way to a certain extent. I am sentimental that way. I want to remember things, and I enjoy recounting and reminiscing. The difference is I am not as obsessive over remembering already I guess.

I have grown to understand that remembering does not mean whatever you remember will still be there; and recounting does not mean whatever you recount will repeat itself. In this way, I feel my clingy nature on the past has gradually evolved. Now I believe that whatever happens in the moment will become a memory sooner or later. In a sense this has led me to try to seize every moment there is, but also, to believe in the lack of power to hold on to that moment.

This has become more apparent to me lately. I realise I always experience a period of moodiness after a surge of happiness or high-ness (this term is very apt here). It is like the hangover after a party. At that down point, I will constantly try to recall the joy I savoured just moments ago, and will myself to mentally relive it – it never works. I mean, obviously there is no way you can replay it wholly once it is over, but I just feel so lousy after something is over. And I hate how I have to constantly tell myself to be happy that something happened, and not be sad that it is over, when a happy moment is over. I just detest how things transform from a present happening to a mere fragment of my memory so quickly. This largely applies to happy times actually.

This is a bad post. I cannot seem to convey my thoughts properly.  

As much as I love to write, I am often put off by not knowing what to write about, and not knowing how to begin. Perhaps it could be the lack of inspiration as some choose to call it, but sometimes it almost seems as though I am suffering from an eternal writer's block. I guess I am just not the sort that likes to write about every day life and happenings I witness and all. In the past, I use to enjoy keeping track of everything I did, every moment, every sight, every sound, every emotion. Until now, I am still that way to a certain extent. I am sentimental that way. I want to remember things, and I enjoy recounting and reminiscing. The difference is I am not as obsessive over remembering already I guess.

I have grown to understand that remembering does not mean whatever you remember will still be there; and recounting does not mean whatever you recount will repeat itself. In this way, I feel my clingy nature on the past has gradually evolved. Now I believe that whatever happens in the moment will become a memory sooner or later. In a sense this has led me to try to seize every moment there is, but also, to believe in the lack of power to hold on to that moment.

This has become more apparent to me lately. I realise I always experience a period of moodiness after a surge of happiness or high-ness (this term is very apt here). It is like the hangover after a party. At that down point, I will constantly try to recall the joy I savoured just moments ago, and will myself to mentally relive it – it never works. I mean, obviously there is no way you can replay it wholly once it is over, but I just feel so lousy after something is over. And I hate how I have to constantly tell myself to be happy that something happened, and not be sad that it is over, when a happy moment is over. I just detest how things transform from a present happening to a mere fragment of my memory so quickly. This largely applies to happy times actually.

This is a bad post. I cannot seem to convey my thoughts properly.