Was planning to write a very back dated post about V Day, but settled with quick sketchy follow up to my previous post instead because.... time constraint! yes thats it! time. (I wish I had more time to think and consolidate!)

This year is definitely looking better than last year thus far. I am happier and I am actually enjoying school life very much. As much as I may rant and moan about school, interestingly, sec 4 life has been way more thrilling than I expected. In the midst of the craziness, fun within it all still manages to surface somehow. I guess on one hand it is because I am disallowing myself to go down that slippery slope of not paying attention in class and not completing any assignments and not preparing for any test again. Without that whole lot of backdated work to plod through, I do not feel as suffocated anymore (thankfully!!!!) In that sense, this year is looking up indeed.

Also, still in the midst of changing my mind set even more, but as of now, I think my tremendous shift in attitude has shocked (in a positive sense, i hope!) quite a handful of people! Yes, I am trying to change myself intentionally. No, I am not schizophrenic. Yes, I am trying to be a good student. No, I am not sucking up (please!) Additionally, teachers seem to be more understanding and less difficult this year. Perhaps its due to the fact that I am trying so hard to be more obedient and responsive and receptive, but honestly, they are slightly kinder to sec 4s I think! Or maybe I am just watching where I step very carefully this year.

Another thing is, I like keeping myself busy. And that is exactly what this year has promised me. Lots and lots and lots of things to busy myself with. I just came to a consensus today that perhaps, this year is appearing better than last because I suddenly have a purpose in life again – O levels. It is as though a light has appeared, and once again, there is a direction for me to head towards.

Somehow, the Os has given me some sort of structure in my life. Some thing to work for and work towards. At least nowadays, when I come home, I have purposeful things to do in place of aimlessly surfing round facebook and getting paranoid about the things I read. At night, I have the will to command myself to sleep because I know I need the rest, instead of staying up late and allowing restless thoughts to overtake me, subjecting myself to passages of self-depreciation and unhappiness. In the weekends, I learn to appreciate every moment I get - to sleep in, to catch an extra piece of theatre, to read a book, to catch up on work, to lunch with friends and family, to rest.

Suddenly I just feel back on track again. I am no longer a lost soul merely drifting through life. And even though this whole 'purpose in life' thing is simply a very temporary set, it is helping me get through each day in a way that I cannot seem to describe. So as odd as it sounds, I am thankful to be an O-level candidate.

This year is definitely looking better than last year thus far. I shall not repeat the wrongs I committed last year, and make this a WICKED year that counts!

There's mistakes that I have made, some chances I just threw away
Some roads I never should have taken.
Been some signs I didn't see, hearts that I hurt needlessly
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend.

Some pages turned, some bridges burned,
But there were, lessons learned.

Was planning to write a very back dated post about V Day, but settled with quick sketchy follow up to my previous post instead because.... time constraint! yes thats it! time. (I wish I had more time to think and consolidate!)

This year is definitely looking better than last year thus far. I am happier and I am actually enjoying school life very much. As much as I may rant and moan about school, interestingly, sec 4 life has been way more thrilling than I expected. In the midst of the craziness, fun within it all still manages to surface somehow. I guess on one hand it is because I am disallowing myself to go down that slippery slope of not paying attention in class and not completing any assignments and not preparing for any test again. Without that whole lot of backdated work to plod through, I do not feel as suffocated anymore (thankfully!!!!) In that sense, this year is looking up indeed.

Also, still in the midst of changing my mind set even more, but as of now, I think my tremendous shift in attitude has shocked (in a positive sense, i hope!) quite a handful of people! Yes, I am trying to change myself intentionally. No, I am not schizophrenic. Yes, I am trying to be a good student. No, I am not sucking up (please!) Additionally, teachers seem to be more understanding and less difficult this year. Perhaps its due to the fact that I am trying so hard to be more obedient and responsive and receptive, but honestly, they are slightly kinder to sec 4s I think! Or maybe I am just watching where I step very carefully this year.

Another thing is, I like keeping myself busy. And that is exactly what this year has promised me. Lots and lots and lots of things to busy myself with. I just came to a consensus today that perhaps, this year is appearing better than last because I suddenly have a purpose in life again – O levels. It is as though a light has appeared, and once again, there is a direction for me to head towards.

Somehow, the Os has given me some sort of structure in my life. Some thing to work for and work towards. At least nowadays, when I come home, I have purposeful things to do in place of aimlessly surfing round facebook and getting paranoid about the things I read. At night, I have the will to command myself to sleep because I know I need the rest, instead of staying up late and allowing restless thoughts to overtake me, subjecting myself to passages of self-depreciation and unhappiness. In the weekends, I learn to appreciate every moment I get - to sleep in, to catch an extra piece of theatre, to read a book, to catch up on work, to lunch with friends and family, to rest.

Suddenly I just feel back on track again. I am no longer a lost soul merely drifting through life. And even though this whole 'purpose in life' thing is simply a very temporary set, it is helping me get through each day in a way that I cannot seem to describe. So as odd as it sounds, I am thankful to be an O-level candidate.

This year is definitely looking better than last year thus far. I shall not repeat the wrongs I committed last year, and make this a WICKED year that counts!

There's mistakes that I have made, some chances I just threw away
Some roads I never should have taken.
Been some signs I didn't see, hearts that I hurt needlessly
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend.

Some pages turned, some bridges burned,
But there were, lessons learned.