My greatest takeaway from this semester is, you have to be weak to be strong.

I realized that as I grew older, it became more and more difficult to ask for help -- the same way it was harder to admit failure, to clarify an uncertainty, or sometimes even accept a compliment. Children don't think much about asking others for help, especially for the smallest of tasks; but somehow, with age, this simple act evolved into one that required deep courage and thought. We associate receiving help with weakness and inadequacy; with being a selfish burden or inconvenience to others. But really, I grew to discover, it's about ego and 'face' and a fear to be true to yourself.

As with many others, this semester has been an unbelievably tough one for me. I struggled to cope with my course load and expectations; I struggled against past issues and nagging relapses; I struggled to support myself and my friends. But I am proud of myself, because I am able to confidently say I have grown and learnt so much in this semester.

I have learnt how important it is to ask for help and to *accept* help. It's not selflessness you're displaying when you reject support; it's unawareness of your shortcomings and a cowardice in trusting yourself/others.

I have learnt that professors are kind human beings who want you to succeed, your classmates are caring allies who are generous and empathetic, and everyone you meet is a gift of inspiration and an opportunity to inspire.

I have learnt how to say "I'm struggling, but I want to be better and I can't do it alone; please help me". I have learnt that it's okay to have a bad day or a good day, as long as you have a day. I have learnt to walk out of an exam disappointed but to allow myself to be sad for a full hour before picking myself up after and continue onwards. I have learnt how to admit I'm stressed, to put aside that paper for 30mins to watch HSM/My Little Pony/FRIENDS videos before returning to it refreshed. I have learnt to show up, regardless.

And with all this, comes gratitude. By accepting weakness and the support that comes, I have grown to see pain and challenges as elements to be grateful for, for through them I enjoy the greatest and most beautiful depths of human kindness and generosity.

And this gratitude includes (and is not limited to):
1. Professors and peers who have welcomed me into the Physics family with open arms despite my fragmented and shaky foundation in maths/science. These incredible humans have taught me that 1 + 1 = 3, and that teamwork and collaboration creates magic. Physics and calculus have (ironically) kept me sane in the worst of times this semester.
2. The 'Spring Awakening' team who gave me the chance to play in the theatre once again; to confront trigger points in art and make the best of them in life.
3. Mira Seo, and her insane assignments, who taught me "your BEST" isn't an absolute; you can and must continue to constantly give your best every single day, but simultaneously expect yourself to break that limit time and time again. Also for teaching me tenacity and grace in the face of adversity.
4. My fav seat in the courtyard x outside the elm office that has given me numerous opportunities to reach out -- both for help and to help others. I've learnt patience and how to listen without judgement.
5. For dear friends (you know who you are) who will get down with me in the trenches, who remind me when it's time to say HECK let's go for supper/fried chicken/KOI/Starbucks/llao llao/ice cream/kit kat/food and believe that tomorrow will be a better day. And for helping me believe that I can when I feel like I can't.
6. My Admissions student associate job that repeatedly reminds me why I'm in University -- and in this *particular* university -- and what I want to do with my life. To inspire and be inspired, everyday.

It has been a semester of negativity and pain. But also of positivity. And of kindness. And most importantly, of love.

To borrow a quote shared by the beautiful and inspiring Kit Lea (edit: who writes so beautifully always that I can no longer differentiate her quotes from quotes of other famed prolific artistes),
"Forget your perfect offering; there's a crack in everything. that's how the light gets in."

It's a tough race we are running, but we will run it and run it together. Here's to being the best selves we can be!

---

No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I’m here, nothing can harm you.
My words will warm and calm you.

My greatest takeaway from this semester is, you have to be weak to be strong.

I realized that as I grew older, it became more and more difficult to ask for help -- the same way it was harder to admit failure, to clarify an uncertainty, or sometimes even accept a compliment. Children don't think much about asking others for help, especially for the smallest of tasks; but somehow, with age, this simple act evolved into one that required deep courage and thought. We associate receiving help with weakness and inadequacy; with being a selfish burden or inconvenience to others. But really, I grew to discover, it's about ego and 'face' and a fear to be true to yourself.

As with many others, this semester has been an unbelievably tough one for me. I struggled to cope with my course load and expectations; I struggled against past issues and nagging relapses; I struggled to support myself and my friends. But I am proud of myself, because I am able to confidently say I have grown and learnt so much in this semester.

I have learnt how important it is to ask for help and to *accept* help. It's not selflessness you're displaying when you reject support; it's unawareness of your shortcomings and a cowardice in trusting yourself/others.

I have learnt that professors are kind human beings who want you to succeed, your classmates are caring allies who are generous and empathetic, and everyone you meet is a gift of inspiration and an opportunity to inspire.

I have learnt how to say "I'm struggling, but I want to be better and I can't do it alone; please help me". I have learnt that it's okay to have a bad day or a good day, as long as you have a day. I have learnt to walk out of an exam disappointed but to allow myself to be sad for a full hour before picking myself up after and continue onwards. I have learnt how to admit I'm stressed, to put aside that paper for 30mins to watch HSM/My Little Pony/FRIENDS videos before returning to it refreshed. I have learnt to show up, regardless.

And with all this, comes gratitude. By accepting weakness and the support that comes, I have grown to see pain and challenges as elements to be grateful for, for through them I enjoy the greatest and most beautiful depths of human kindness and generosity.

And this gratitude includes (and is not limited to):
1. Professors and peers who have welcomed me into the Physics family with open arms despite my fragmented and shaky foundation in maths/science. These incredible humans have taught me that 1 + 1 = 3, and that teamwork and collaboration creates magic. Physics and calculus have (ironically) kept me sane in the worst of times this semester.
2. The 'Spring Awakening' team who gave me the chance to play in the theatre once again; to confront trigger points in art and make the best of them in life.
3. Mira Seo, and her insane assignments, who taught me "your BEST" isn't an absolute; you can and must continue to constantly give your best every single day, but simultaneously expect yourself to break that limit time and time again. Also for teaching me tenacity and grace in the face of adversity.
4. My fav seat in the courtyard x outside the elm office that has given me numerous opportunities to reach out -- both for help and to help others. I've learnt patience and how to listen without judgement.
5. For dear friends (you know who you are) who will get down with me in the trenches, who remind me when it's time to say HECK let's go for supper/fried chicken/KOI/Starbucks/llao llao/ice cream/kit kat/food and believe that tomorrow will be a better day. And for helping me believe that I can when I feel like I can't.
6. My Admissions student associate job that repeatedly reminds me why I'm in University -- and in this *particular* university -- and what I want to do with my life. To inspire and be inspired, everyday.

It has been a semester of negativity and pain. But also of positivity. And of kindness. And most importantly, of love.

To borrow a quote shared by the beautiful and inspiring Kit Lea (edit: who writes so beautifully always that I can no longer differentiate her quotes from quotes of other famed prolific artistes),
"Forget your perfect offering; there's a crack in everything. that's how the light gets in."

It's a tough race we are running, but we will run it and run it together. Here's to being the best selves we can be!

---

No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I’m here, nothing can harm you.
My words will warm and calm you.